The Expression of Escape
I watched the night fall,
I watched the night fall,
Its shadow a
soothing, deluding
Black shawl; across everyone-
Except for
me.
Like a
window shopper,
I perused
the displays,
The
betrayals, my forays
Into
anything I prayed
Would
soothe my soul.
And if I
portrayed myself
As someone
broken,
It was only
in loathsome,
Lonesome
dreams.
The other
part of me,
Walked
these streets
Unfamiliar,
in
A suit of
armor;
Amour,
teeming with
The
Fragility
Of broken
sentences-
Never to be
expressed
Or
witnessed, or caressed.
I could
keep running
Down
cracked streets.
Home as
they say…
The shadows
between
The eyelets
of sunlight.
With no one
to claim me;
No one to
tame me-
I ran down
those crumbling,
Tumbling
streets –
To get away
from this life;
Eyes
haunting me,
Launching
sighs into me.
I am not
from here,
Or
anywhere.
I am not
for here.
Traipsing
this pavement
Meant to
travel;
And you say
it’s brave –
Well, if
you only knew…
I’m
running.
The Braille
of foreign coins,
Against my
skin;
The plump
pump of my heart,
Thumping;
caring not for life;
Caring not
for death.
Harangued
by pangs
Of
harrowing paths-
That
narrowing gash of
My Past;
and well…
The veins,
they still course
Blue pathways,
freeways
Of
heartache.
I run away,
with cobwebbed
Hands and
misted up mysteries
Whispering…anything
To break up
the silence.
And in the
latest hour…
Shivering
shatters the silence.
I waited
too long to live,
Too
attracted and distracted
By my own
repulsive,
Revolted
head.
I begged to
be fixed
Transited,
or transfixed
Away from
myself.
Would you
keep your soul in your eyes?
Most never
do.
Not anymore,
Any more so
than anyone else.
While that
whimpering, wilted,
Jilted
guilt kills me-
I suffer.
I am not
special;
We all do.
We all do.
Knowing
dreams hang like mist
I cannot
grasp.
I am gasping, battered.
Tattered
bracelets handcuff my wrists.
Life’s
risk-
The
visceral misery
I was born
into…
A hysteria.
And this vital mystery,
This life,
and these streets,
So foreign;
Those precious concrete spires,
Those precious concrete spires,
Like
unreaped desires -
Always are
my own.
